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Archive for the ‘General’ Category


“I get your affection for sourdough bread and the Giants, but Muni? Are you crazy?”

I can hear any resident or informed visitor exclaim.

“The service is totally unreliable, the drivers insolent and a sizeable number of its customers are so weird, not to say unhygienic, that they’d fail the audition for any self-respecting freak show”.

Ah, but there’s the rub. It is the “all human life is there” quality that makes Muni or, to give it its official title, the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency, so endearing – provided, of course, that you’re not planning to be any place soon or are of a squeamish disposition.

But then – I don’t have to travel on it every day, though, on balance, I think I might, at least if only for the material it would provide for my writing.

As a child, I remember hearing from my tiny black and white television set that there were “eight million stories in the naked city”. I doubt there are many fewer accounts of life on Muni. Here are some of mine.

But I would never desert the Muni buses or the clanking F Streetcar service, both of which provide the perfect stage for San Franciscans to play out their anxieties or set the world to rights.

Few Muni journeys are uneventful, even when as time has gone on, a greater proportion of passengers have their noses pressed against a mobile phone screen.

On this occasion, however, we enjoyed one of those classic and not infrequent confrontations between driver and passenger.At Church and 18th on one occasion, a fearsome looking, heavily built and extravagantly inked gentleman boarded at the rear with his equally frightening American Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Now, the sign at the front of the bus declared that “any number of signal, service or guide dogs for the disabled are allowed to ride Muni free and unmuzzled”.

On the face of it, it appeared that this particularly member of the canine family was unlikely to fall into any of the above categories, hence the intervention from the brave driver, a slight, fifty something Chinaman, felt that this was not the case who hollered:

“Muzzle that dog at the back”.

“He’s a service dog”.

The driver was undaunted:

“Muzzle that dog at the back”.

To which the newly boarded passenger repeated in a gruffer tone:

He’s a service dog”.

This utterance was accompanied by several violent and obscene gestures which had the effect of diverting the attention of his fellow passengers momentarily from their digital companions.

At this point, the driver discreetly and wisely withdraw from the confrontation and the back of the bus breathed a collective sign of relief. One young man, judging that it might still be in his best interests to befriend the man, summoned up the courage to enquire of the victor:

“What are his (the dog’s) skills?”

“Seizure alert” was the blunt response.

“Oh I get ya”.

I doubt he did, but it seemed imprudent to prolong the conversation, and this was a sound withdrawal strategy.

Nobody was going to gainsay that, although it did provoke a seemingly measured discussion about the value of muzzling dogs on Muni. Fortunately, the debate had not reached the stage where the dog’s party piece would be put to the test before we disembarked at 29th Street and the climb back to our Bernal Heights cottage.

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Picture the scene – one of the checkouts at Morrisons supermarket on Cheriton Road in the late summer of 2018.

I have placed my shopping on the conveyor belt along with my walking tour embossed satchel.

As the middle aged woman on the till begins to ring through my fresh tagliatelle, packet of arrabbiata sauce and bottle of Montepulciano d’Abruzzo – enough to begin with to raise her eyebrows at – she spies my bright red bag.

The conversation goes like this.

Woman (sniffily)

Folkestone Walking Tours – hmmm. What’s that mean?

Me (enthusiastically)

I deliver walking tours of Folkestone.

Woman (inquisitively)

Oh. You’re from Folkestone then, are you?

Me (informatively)

No, I moved here two years ago.

Woman (aggressively)

I’ve lived here all my life. What makes you think you know all about it then?

Me (pleasantly if defensively)

I certainly don’t. But I love Folkestone, having spent my holidays here as a child. And I want to share that with visitors and others,

I’ve also done a lot of research and talked to many people who are lifelong residents.

Woman (distrustfully)

Well, it doesn’t sound right to me.

Me (helpfully)

Perhaps you could come on one of my tours and see for yourself? You’d be very welcome.

Woman (irritatingly)

That’s not my sort of thing. Besides, I can’t walk very far.

I bag my Italian feast for two, pay and make my excuses.

I should finish by making it clear that I had nothing to do with the fire that raged through the building a couple of months later.

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Many of our trips to San Francisco have coincided (intentionally) with the free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival in Golden Gate Park over the first, invariably warm, weekend of October.

There have been a number of high spots over recent years with regular performances in particular from Steve Earle (with a guest appearance from Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead), Emmylou Harris (who traditionally closes the festival), Jack Casady and Jorma Kaukonen, guitar gods from Jefferson Airplane, the Neville Brothers, John Prine, Robert Plant, the Blind Boys of Alabama and Moonalice who performed a set of songs penned by the then recently deceased Robert Hunter, principal lyricist for the Grateful Dead.

The atmosphere could not be further from the corporate, money-driven ethos of Glastonbury and similar events and fitting that San Francisco where, along with other Californian venues, the concept of free outdoor rock festivals effectively originated in the late sixties.

But the highlight for me came in 2019 with Judy Collins. But before that I need to take you back twelve months to San Rafael in Marin County. A store owner friend of mine in Folkestone asked if I could deliver a note to Phil Lesh, the former Grateful Dead bass player, at his performance/dining venue at Terrapin Crossroads (sadly now closed, though the music lives on).

Not only was I able to deliver the note, which stated that she had adored him since the Europe ’72 tour, successfully but I also had the opportunity of a few minutes chat with the great man, who signed a postcard of his own for me to pass on to her on my return.

So pleased was my friend that I had succeeded in achieving a task that might not unreasonably have been perceived as unlikely – after all, Phil didn’t rap with random British guys in his bar every day – that she set me an even more challenging task twelve months later.

It appears that she had been as besotted with Judy Collins’s music for more than half a century as she had been with Phil Lesh’s music over the same period of time. So she asked me to deliver a letter from her to Judy on the afternoon that she was performing.

Now walking across a barroom floor to request a quick chat with a music superstar is a piece of cake compared to gaining access to another legendary artist in the middle of one of the world’s largest parks and when there are tens of thousands of other people in close proximity.

The afternoon arrived, and as the appointed time for Judy’s set approached, I gingerly made my way to the front of the stage – there did not appear to be an obvious place to go “backstage” – I was accosted, firmly but politely, by a burly African-American gentleman who may have been thinking I was getting a little too close.

I explained my predicament – which, even to my own mind, seemed a bit odd. He listened carefully and took the letter from me without making any promises. I did not hold out much hope for a positive response, but around five minutes later he returned in a similarly measured way and informed me that “Miss Collins has received the note”.

My joy would have been unconfined had Judy referred to it whilst she was on stage, but she did not. She did, however, sing Both Sides Now to me – well, me and many others – on my birthday.

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A biting breeze and thin drizzle denote December’s inevitable but uninvited return. Twilight descends on the ancient churchyard.

Never has the phrase “quiet as the grave” seemed more apt. 

As I pause to tie my bootlaces by the Town Cross, venue for the making of mayors for many centuries, my body shudders as a young woman brushes past me, the hem of her blue dress grazing the grass border, and her white headpiece fluttering in the wind. She carries provisions – bread, leeks and a small flagon of beer – for the poor in a round wicker basket, forswearing another potentially lucrative tryst with a Northumbrian nobleman, orchestrated by her frustrated father.

Her head bowed, she whispers “Good evening, sir, God be with you”. Before I can frame an intelligible response, she disappears behind the west window.  

Composing myself as best I can in the circumstances, I shamble on past the crumbling tombs, narrowly avoiding a collision with a rat, scurrying across my path to the sanctuary of the lopsided lychgate leading into Church Street. The Pullman pub is empty, save for a few flickering candles and a lone member of bar staff deep in conversation with his mobile phone. 

The lanterns of Rendezvous Street are unusually dim, and the restaurants are sparsely populated. 

The stillness is unnerving, but strangely thrilling.

I turn into the narrow, twisting, rain drenched street that slides down towards the harbour.

Many months have elapsed since chaotic, cacophonous Charivari had snaked up that old thoroughfare, all drums and whistles and cymbals, and other less conventional instruments. More recently, the ground had groaned beneath the burden of polished, red-laced “Doc” Martens, worn by follicly challenged pilgrims lumbering towards Gillespie’s and The Ship for an afternoon of Special Brew, and worship at the altars of Prince Buster and The Specials.

I am alone.

But am I?

The fog in my brain mirrors the slowly enveloping mist approaching from the bottom of the hill. Images of times past in this salty, saintly town start to consume my thoughts. 

Nothing is quite what it seems.

My longing for one last lingering look at the dazzling, daily alchemy conjured up in the rock shop near the top of the street Dickens christened a “crippled ladder” is soon answered. The heady, fashionable aromas of craft beer and Nicaraguan coffee cannot compete with the memory of the sickly sweet perfume radiating from that beloved spot, where, nose squashed against the glass, a small boy gasped in awe at the thick, long sticks of heaven being rolled.

“Let me in at the front, Michael, you’ve been stood there for ages”, pleads his tearful younger sister, Anna, her view obscured by the taller girl stood in front of her.

“Have they started giving out the bags of broken bits yet?”, another boy bellows from further back in the crowd.

A sudden, excited scrum confirms his suspicion as I catch an intoxicating whiff of granulated sugar.

It was often claimed that if Rowlands were to shut its doors for good, Folkestone would die; a prediction, thankfully, since proven dramatically wrong, 

I stumble into Steep Street Coffee House for cake and cappuccino, a combination that never fails to comfort. I am their last customer of the day and the staff, without being obtrusive, are cleaning up around me. The self-styled Folkestone Poet has vacated his customary sales pitch across the cobbles at Big Boys Burger, his heavy overcoat and leather balaclava no longer a match for the diminishing temperatures. 

I pass by Marley’s – or what I thought was Marley’s. From a dark upstairs room, redolent of patchouli and cigarette smoke, a loud, piercing jukebox exhorts me to “go to San Francisco” a seductive reminder of the original Summer of Love on such a bleak winter’s evening.

Two young men in afghan coats, and a messy profusion of facial hair, are huddled at the foot of the crippling, crumbling Bayle Steps. 

“Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Far out, whatcha doing’ tonight?”

“Going’ to Archies. The Lonely Ones are playing”.

Nice. I hear there’s some hot Swedish chicks in town too”.

“That’s settled then, Archie’s it is”. 

“Yeah, and I could kill for one of his salami rolls right now”.

I start to follow them through the door, only to find that the closer I get, the scene dissolves in the moist air, and I am left once more outside Marley’s rather than the Acropolis

The piercing cold slices through my flimsy denim jacket and hastens my progress to the bottom of the street. Everything is still again as I try to rationalise the scenes I have encountered in the past half an hour. 

I cross a deserted Tram Road car park and pass under the arch by Ovenden’s old forge into the empty fish market, tiptoeing around the grimy puddles that tend to settle there, whether it has rained or not. 

A solitary gull plods apologetically past, pining for Spring and the reopening of Chummy’s and Bob’s seafood stalls, when it will again be afforded means, motive and opportunity to ambush tourists for their fish and chips and tubs of whelks.

Pausing outside The Shell Shop, I appear to have stepped into an earlier time again. Men in cloth caps and heavy, seaweed encrusted boots trudge up the slipway opposite, lobster pots and herring nets half empty after an exhausting and disheartening shift. They slap their meagre catch on the floor of Fish Shed One, light cigarettes and congregate in whispered conversation.

‘Darkie” Fagg, “Cottage” Featherbe and “Lobby” Spearpoint are leaning on the railing and reminiscing about better days, while Old Ned Saunders, retired these ten years, is mending the sprat nets for a “free” pint or two in The Oddfellows Arms later this evening. 

On The Stade, wives and daughters juggle the demanding tasks of cleaning fish and supervising the smaller, and not so clean, children. 

Observing this picture, it is difficult to gauge which gender had the tougher life.

Meanwhile, grubby, barefoot young boys, oblivious to the dedication and drudgery of their elders all around them, chalk stumps on the wall of Clouts Alley.

“I’ll be Jack “Obbs, you can be Clarrie Grimmett. I’ll ‘it you into the “arbour, every time, just you see” brags nine year old Harry Sharp.

But with his first delivery, Clarrie, better known about these parts as Edmund, and, later years, “La La”, Taylor, traps Jack in front of his wicket and appeals for leg before.

“Owzat! Got you with me flipper, pom”.

A heated dispute follows, culminating in the great English batsman hurling his bat against the wall and storming off in the direction of Redman’s boat builders.

His mother, ankle deep in half gutted dogfish and three scruffy toddlers, calls: 

“Harry, your tea is ready. And find your brother before you come in”.

“Five more minutes, mum. I’ve got to bowl Don Bradman out first. it won’t take long”.

“Five more minutes, my arse – you’ve got thirty seconds. This tea won’t wait. If you don’t get to the table soon, the other kids will have your share”

A case of bad mum stopped play.

As this scene of family harmony evaporates, I hear, from across the harbour, a sergeant major’s earsplitting admonition to “Step Short”  to a long procession of uniformed men stomping down the slope from the Leas above.

The rhythmic sound of boots on concrete is accompanied by raucous renditions of Pack up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag and It’s a Long Way to Tipperary, as the soldiers march to the waiting ships that will take them to the Western Front.

But there is one last treat before their sombre adventure begins.

Inside the harbour station waiting room, two formidable middle aged women adjust their pinafores and rearrange any curls that have slipped beneath their flower bestrewn boaters. They inspect the massive urns containing the last hot, strong tea most of these men will ever drink.

“Come on boys, form a straight line, you don’t have long, you know”, Flora Jeffrey cries out with a tinge of regret in her voice, while her sister Margaret cuts thin slices of trench cake and bread pudding to complete what, for many of these condemned men, will be their last meal.  

“And don’t forget to sign the visitors’ book before you do”.

“All right, all right, you sound like me muvver – nag, nag, nag”, one private who claims to be twenty one but looks barely sixteen, retorts, as he lurches towards Margaret and slurs:

“Give us a kiss”.

But before he can perfect this unwise manouevre, a grizzled veteran of Mafeking and Ladysmith yanks him back by his collar and barks:

“Show the ladies some respect, young ’un’. You ain’t in the playground now, y’know”.

“Sorry, old timer, I didn’t mean nuffin’ by it, it was just a bit of fun”.

Flora chuckles: “You got off lightly there, my boy, that’s nothing to what Margaret would have done to you if you’d got any nearer!”.

An outpouring of communal hilarity is unleashed, and the embarrassed teenager slinks back into the anonymity of the crowd.

I separate from the excited, but fearful, throng with the final strains of Keep the Home Fires Burning ringing in my ears, and join the boardwalk that connects the station with the base of the thirty year old water lift along the beach to the west. 

But I have hardly stepped foot on the old railway sleepers before finding myself in the midst of a large conglomeration of buildings, including a swimming pool, boating lake and fairground rides.

As I try to take all this in, a crew cut kid in knitted cardigan and khaki shorts can be seen rushing into a huge, dimpled dome that is destined to be his whole world for the next two weeks. He will never tire of rolling a penny for plastic motor cars or shooting a steel ball into a hole for packets of mints.

His father and mother, the latter clutching a wad of what appear to be tickets, frown as they dismount from the blue plastic seats they have occupied for the past two hours, where they had been subjected to an increasingly annoying loop of “legs eleven”, “two little ducks, twenty two” and “two fat ladies’ eighty eight”. 

The boy drags himself from the penny pusher slot machine and scampers towards them in a frenzy of excitement.

“How many wins did you get, mum?”.

“Eight”.

His heart sinks. “Oh no, that big cuddly monkey on the bottom shelf is nine wins. Can you play some more games and win it for me?”.

“We don’t have time, darling; besides dad and I want that nice set of tea trays that are eight wins. They will be just perfect for our TV dinners when we get home”.

“Boring”. 

Feeling betrayed and despondent, the boy skulks off in the direction of the Runaway Coaster.

But he is soon appeased by a promise to go to his favourite fish and chip restaurant in Tontine Street for tea.

Intermittent drizzle and mist has given way to steady rain and a thickening gloom. Hungry and shivering, I resolve to return home. 

Christmas lights bestride the street across the ragged rooftops, and retailers and restaurateurs contend for the accolade of best dressed window, though tonight there is nobody about to judge them. 

Apart from the echo of my boots upon the sodden cobbles, silence is restored.

Until I reach Archie’s.

From that same gloomy upstairs window from whence the Flowerpot Men had serenaded me two hours – and a hundred and fifty years – earlier, the Small Faces remind me that:

“It’s all too beautiful”. 

After the battering my senses have taken this evening, I remain to be convinced of the veracity of this hypothesis.

So I try, for the second time, to gain access to the old haunt of hippies and radicals.

As I take my first hesitant steps in its direction, fully expecting to find myself in Marley’s again, the doors open of their own accord and I am permitted to enter.

And there, waiting to greet me, is the original owner, Mickey Argegrou, who is anxious to introduce me to his special guests for the night. 

To my astonishment, St Eanswythe is here. The modest blue and white garments she had been wearing during our perfunctory encounter in the churchyard earlier have been replaced by brightly coloured, patterned flower dress and matching peaked hat. She is sampling her first ever cup of coffee and, judging by the uncharacteristic grimace that quickly follows, she is unlikely to order a second. Water from her own spring and the occasional small goblet of mead will remain her preferred tipples. 

With the final troop ship of the day, Engadine, set sail for Boulogne, and the Mole Cafe consequently closed, the indomitable Jeffrey sisters have swapped their pinafores for elegant three quarter length dresses. They appear to be conducting a taste test of Mickey’s famed rum babas, comparing them in the process with their revered fruit cake.   

John Brickell, still in his overalls and safety cap, is here too. He has disappointed his vast army of young fans by holding back the remnants of today’s rock rolling, handing the broken bits around to the grateful regulars, who find them a perfect accompaniment to their cocktails. 

And Harry Sharp, grown in the past hour into a handsome young man, but still smarting from his first ball duck at the Clouts Alley Oval, is feeding the jukebox, while Old Ned Saunders, released from his net repairing duties, though not separated from his favourite fisherman’s jumper, for the evening, is leading a communal sing along to the latest tune selected by Harry:

“Those were the days, my friend”.

After the scenes I have witnessed this evening, I am inclined to agree. 

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We lay face down

On the lush green grass

In the shade of an ancient oak

Beside a glistening blue lake

In which mallards, moorhens

And a cormorant interloper

Swam free.

Our hearts seemed

As full as they could be

At least for now.

We listened to Joni and Neil

On a tinny tape recorder,

As we clasped each other’s hands

And glazed into each other’s eyes

Through a thick Panama red,

Or was it Lebanese black,

Haze.

Our love seemed

Set to last for ever

At least for now.

We knitted clumsy daisy chains

And giggled at the geeks

Hunched over dreary textbooks

In the glinting glass-filled library,

Named for a vice-chancellor

We never cared to know or meet.

Our lives semed joyful,

Sweet, carefree

At least for now.

It was a year before I saw you again,

Dancing, or rather stumbling

In the courtyard fountains,

Eyes dead, clothes ripped

And hair unwashed,

Lost in a darker, more dangerous world

Than the one we had enjoyed

On that glowing afternoon

Twelve months before.

I cannot now remember how

We met, or parted, at that time;

Even your name escapes my memory,

But what I do recall is that

I loved you then with all my heart,

And do so once again today

At least for now.

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A bright, brisk morning

In a small English town,

I order an extra shot americano

In the one coffee house

That does not reek of grease,

And take a seat outside.

From the doubtful comfort of my

Three and a half legged plastic chair

I scan the temptations around me:

“Nails Palace – Professional Nail Care for Ladies”,

“Cash Generator – the Buy, Sell and Loan Store”,

“Tanning Heaven”,

And the Salvation Army’s “Community Store”,

Promising “Heart to God, Hand to Man”.

“Eel Pie Island”, specialists in all day breakfasts,

Proudly proclaims in yellow, peeling letters,

It is a “Caf’e”, an apostrophe planted

Between the “f” and “e”.

The “Hot 4 U Pizza, Chicken and Kebab” house

Has closed, victim of too much competition

In the fast food field,

Proof that you CAN have

Too much of a good thing.

Unless it’s burgers and jumbo sausage rolls.

Obesity is a badge of honour here.

In frayed makeshift marquees

And spread along the pavement,

Traders display their wares –

Leather jackets, shell suits,

Batteries, watches, mobile phones, 

Toys, rugs, carpets, curtains,

Handbags, purses and luggage –

Each screaming the critical selling point of

Affordability.

Relatively.

The saucy entreaties of the meat wagon guy

To “come on girls, don’t be shy,

Give my lovely meat a try”

Trigger giggles but no takers;

A further invitation to pinch his pork loins

Is similarly snubbed.

Granville’s traditional barber’s shop

Has closed after fifty years;

Its red and white striped pole

No longer rotates, confirming

There’s nothing for the weekend here.

Supplanted by a succession

Of glitzy Turkish emporia

Offering an eye watering array

Of treatments for every part

Of the modern male head and face.

The Lord Raglan pub is also boarded up,

A ragged, handwritten paper sign

Flaps in the vape drenched breeze;

Some wag has inserted an “i”

Between the words “to” and “let”.

Country crooners from the fifties

Trill through the babble

Of Bengali, Romanian, Arabic

And English

That assail my ears.

The RAC canvasses for new recruits

But most people here do not drive,

Unless you count the cavalcade of

Motorised scooters and wheelchairs

Wreathed with union jacks and teddy bears

Parked outside the padlocked toilets.

Bald middle aged white men, 

Their relationship with teeth

Over,

Flaunt their body art

Of indecipherable oriental slogans,

Football team allegiances

And the obligatory catalogue

Of proud progeny,

Many of whom they have

Not seen for years.

Japanese tosas and pit bull terriers,

Acquired more for their menace

Than their questionable cuteness,

Slowly encircle each other,

Doing nothing more threatening

Than exploring each other’s private parts.

Teenage mums congregate outside Gregg’s 

To share a cigarette and debate

Last night’s episode of Love Island,

To compare frilly pram accessories,

And to show off the clothes just bought

For Noah and Amelia in Primark.

Occasionally they turn around to bark

At their same bored and testy toddlers

Committing the heinous crime of

Being children.

An Albert Steptoe tribute act

Stutters along the street,

Peering professionally

Into every bin and doorway

For bottles, fag ends

And unfinished food scraps,

Leaving the council street cleaner

To deal with the discarded needles.

The midday sun glints through

The single, leafless tree,

Where neither Vladimir nor Estragon wait,

As I drain my second americano

And head for home. 

And yet, it is I who feels observed,

A figure of curiosity,

Even suspicion,

With my fancy coffee,

Collection of Eliot’s poetry

And notebook and pen,

Observing and trying to capture

Life.

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On what would have been his 106th birthday, a poem from the great Lawrence Ferlinghetti, founder and owner of the City Lights bookstore in San Francisco. Never have its sentiments been more pertinent.

Pity the nation whose people are sheep
And whose shepherds mislead them
Pity the nation whose leaders are liars
Whose sages are silenced
and whose bigots haunt the airways
Pity the nation that raises not its voice
but aims to rule the world
by force and by torture
And knows
No other language but its own
Pity the nation whose breath is money
and sleeps the sleep of the too well fed
Pity the nation Oh pity the people of my country
My country, tears of thee
Sweet land of liberty!

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You were instantly friends with my wife

Nearly thirty years ago,

Since, sharing countless photographs –

She grasping a gin and tonic

And you, well, just sitting there.

You were not built for comfort,

The black sheep of the bar

Among the beer stained stools,

Wood backed benches,

Vintage Beat memorabilia

And framed newspaper cuttings.

Though card payments

Have largely usurped cash,

And berets been replaced

By Giants baseball caps,

You’ve not changed;

Apart from a much needed

Covid-era makeover

When the bar sat empty

And hands were otherwise idle.

Four years crawled past

During which we thought

We had seen the last of your

Faded, creaking glory;

But you were waiting

In the usual place,

Sturdier and cleaner than ever.

.

Few others seem to share

The fascination you hold for us

As they stride past in pursuit

Of more conventional

Rear end resting places.

But I wonder if Jack or Allen

Or more likely Lawrence,

From across the alley

Ever lounged in your

Elegant wicker straitjacket?

How many more times

We will have the chance

To enter that threshold

To find you there

Is not in my gift,

But you will always remain

At least a conversation piece.

If not a photo opportunity.

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I dreamt long last night of San Francisco,
As I have done so many nights before;
I left my heart there thirty years ago,
No more was I waiting outside her door.

Sitting upon summer brown Bernal Hill,
Watching the golden city laid before me   
Like a lover spread ‘cross a crumpled bed,
In no sweeter place would I rather be.

Standing astride the stunning Sunset steps

As the cool fog weaves its wild, wondrous spell,
Slicing Sutro Tower in half before,
In a heartbeat, it returns and all’s well.

Hanging for dear life from the cable car
I crest the hill on Hyde at dawn of day,
Siren song from all the foghorns moaning
As we hurtle down to the glistening bay.

Eating popovers by Pacific shore
Among the tourists and locals well dressed,
Humming along to O Sole Mio
While wrestling a ristretto at Trieste.

Hailing Josh Norton and his doting flock,
As they follow him on the Barbary Coast,
Waiting two hours in Zazie’s lengthening line
For bacon, eggs benedict and French toast.

Hunting for tie-dye tees in Hippie Haight,
Paying Harvey homage on Castro Street,
Reading a novel on the F Streetcar
As it clanks along to a Market beat.

Drinking a cool, tall glass of Anchor Steam
With ghosts of Ginsberg, Neal and Kerouac,
In North Beach’s beloved beat retreat
With Joyce’s peering portrait at my back.

Gorging on Gilroy’s garlic fries at the yard
As gulls circle above to claim what’s left,
Pablo slams a mighty walk off splash hit
To leave downhearted Dodgers fans bereft.

Sharing tales of shows at the Fillmore West
In Martha and Brothers at breakfast break,
The Blackpool boat tram slithers past and waves
To Lovejoy’s ladies taking tea and cake.

The scent of jasmine on our Noe porch,
Sea lions cavorting on the wharfside pier,
Sourdough with Coppola Sauvignon blanc,
And that “bracelet of bridges” held so dear.

These and other images flood my mind –
Painted houses, murals and gleaming bay,
Bowls of cioppino and Irish coffees,
I curse the undue advent of the day.

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Nimble nuns scurry across the square

Heading for their next service fix,

Neatly sidestepping Vespa riders

Who twist and jerk and shudder

Between the imperceptible lanes

That mean as little to them

As pedestrians and traffic lights.

Perched in the middle of the piazza,

A poliziotta municipale

In pristine white helmet and gloves,

In a whirl of her arms

And ear-splitting whistle,

Valiantly struggles to

Manage the morning mayhem.

Every Fiat Panda or Lancia Ypsilon,

Oblivious to battle scars

Of bumps and scrapes,

Jostles for precious –

And inconceivable –

Parking spaces.

Across the red, rutted rooftops

Dogs howl in unison

With the wail of ambulances

And hubbub of honking,

While disoriented tourists

Are pursued and seduced

By waiters with winning smiles

Into perusing the menu turistico.

Outside a small coffee house

Beside a deconsecrated church,

A middle aged woman

Dripping in Gucci and Armani,

Caresses her cappuccino

(It is not quite mezzogiorno yet),

And takes a slow, sultry draw on

Her third Muratti Chiaro cigarette.

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