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Posts Tagged ‘Tony Quarrington poet’


The café door creaks open and a cheerless couple,

Thirty-five years together today, shuffle to an empty table.

Their order of two large one shot lattes,                                                        

And a slice of carrot cake with two teaspoons.

Is taken by the bright young female server.

Their coffees, which would earn a Neapolitan barista

Instant dismissal with their passable similarity to

The water in which the cups will later be washed,

Are delivered with another winning smile.

Husband and wife instantly reach for their smartphones

And settle into a prolonged and gloomy silence.

Not a word passes their lips, save for the occasional

Whisper to share the contents of an email

Or comment on a social media thread,

A sigh or nod the barely perceptible response.

They remain as wedded to their screens

As their thirteen year old grandchildren,

Whose own behaviour at the breakfast table

Incurs their disapproval and chastisement.

They leave the café as quietly as they arrived,

Avoiding the jaunty “thank you, see you soon”

From beside the espresso machine.

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To climb those hundred, hollow creaking stairs

And shuffle onto tiny wooden benches,

And listen to those around me,

With their home counties accents

And rude sense of entitlement,

Grumbled that their squashed up seats,

Even with their paid for padded cushions,

Aweayre too narrow, too cramped, too hard,

Too damned uncomfortable for their

Four hundred years evolved backsides.

To queue for what seems hours at the bar,

Jostled, muttered at, and splashed with beer

By every sweaty, tie-dyed passed by

Who left it late to heed the bathroom call;

And drenched again as hey return,

still attending to their open flies,

(No washing of hands here),

To catch the band’s favourite song of theirs

And muscle into my dancing space

Beneath the players on the stage.

To search, perchance to find

That cherished corner in the church

Of coffee, cake and ten thousand books.

Wherein I can plant myself for hours

And pen these verses or plan new work;

Only to find that a young family of four,

Day trippers from their wide eyed curiosity,

Have been patiently lurking all the while

At the end of the frantic, noisy counter.

Ready to claim the table that belongs to me.

To cram in the case that last best pair of shorts,

Only to find the balance tipped on the scales

Cursing the traffic on the motorway approach,

And then to be told of a delay of three hours;

To lose wifi, and thus your boarding pass,

At that most crucial moment beside the gate,

To spend eleven hours imprisoned in a box,

Wedged in by by the largest passenger on board,

And learn your entertainment system’s out of order

And your sole preferred meal option has run out.

All these, and a thousand other irritations

That filed our lives with strain and care,

I crave that they might yet soon return,

For every one I could now gladly bear.

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When Paddy first played the pipes for me

I was transported back to ’68,

To a Skibbereen bar on a Saturday night

Where songs were sung of rebels’ fate.

Sixteen years old with fresh shaven head,

Rarely to be cut for five more years,

Heedless of the history of my hosts,

Oblivious of their eight centuries’ tears.

My first bitter pint of porter downed

And just as rapidly brought up again,

But my Irish roots were now confirmed,

From Tipperary via Hounslow I came.

And then a father staggering to his feet

In answer to the locals’ “your turn” shout,

Sang “My old woman and ‘er seven kids

Were a pickin’ all the big ones out”.

Instant celebrities we had become

Through this doggerel of a cockney lass,

Free drinks proffered and prolonged applause

And talk of the church next morn at Mass.

Vouchsafed the keys to Mrs McCarthy’s pub,

On fishing boats in cold Atlantic waters taken

To catch a multitude of mackerel and skate,

All these did my Irish heritage awaken.

When Paddy first played the pipes for me

I was transported back to ’68

To a Skibbereen bar on a Saturday night

Where songs were sung of rebels’ fate.

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Let me die on a packed dance floor

In the heart of a “Dark Star” jam,

In tie-dye shirt and Nashville boots

Among the folk I call my fam’.

Let me die on a packed dance floor

Beneath the lead guitarist’s feet,

Flailing about like the wild wind

To a loud unremitting beat.

Let me die on a packed dance floor

During a fierce “Terrapin” riff,

Amid the sweat and spilt beer stains

And that unmistakeable whiff.

Let me die on a packed dance floor

In the heart of a “Dark Star” jam,

In tie-dye shirt and Nashville boots

Among the folk I call my fam’.

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It was midday and the stores on Haight Street were drowsily coming to life under a warming sun. A gaggle of skateboarders, ageing “heads”, dogs and guitars waited at the lights at Stanyan to cross over to Hippie Hill for an afternoon of music, marijuana and merriment.

We had just enjoyed a sumptuous lunch of chicken pesto, Greek chicken wraps and hummus plate at the Blue Front Café, (sadly, one of the many eateries that has subsequently closed), and were entering a brightly coloured establishment which had historically divested us of our holiday dollars more than any other over the previous two decades.

As we planted ourselves in the rear of the store to look for any new tie-dye shirts from Liquid Blue, the silence was broken by a chirpy Californian female voice.

“Hey, you guys, let me explain the layout in here for you. At this end you will find the Grateful Dead t-shirts, organised by size, while over here are my own designs…….”

It was clear that the woman was going to continue with this well-rehearsed speech for some time, and, of course, she was only trying to be helpful. But I have an aversion to being what I perceive as “stalked” in stores by staff when all I want to do is look for myself and ask questions if I have a need.

So, I interrupted her rather abruptly – for which I have since apologised on many occasions – explaining that for nearly twenty years we had been rummaging through her colourful stock, and left laden with t-shirts, dresses, badges, stickers and other paraphernalia.

Rather than being deterred by my rude riposte, she squealed at the news, thanking us for our custom (not service – that is generally reserved for the military) and asking us where we were from, a perfectly reasonable icebreaker if one were really needed. I explained that we were from England, that I had revered the Dead since the late sixties and had visited the store many times before. This triggered a discussion about our mutual love for the music and the city.

I mentioned that we were heading for the Great American Music Hall that evening to see Dark Star Orchestra, the band formed in Chicago that had been replicating entire Dead shows since 1997. Alicia, as she was called, was thrilled to hear and said “we’re going too, do you wanna hang out?” By “we” she had included her partner, Jerry (no, not that one) who was, at the time, the long term owner of the store.

Despite the presumption (at least to British ears) in the question we instantly accepted the offer, and as we left with Casey Jones and Alice in Wonderland tees, arranged to meet in the line outside the venue at 6pm.

Disembarking the 47 Muni, rather uncharitably dubbed by my wife the “stinky bus”, at Van Ness and O’Farrell, we strode excitedly along the two blocks to join a mercifully short line at the venue. Dead concerts past were recalled as the air reeked of pot and a lone, long haired man patrolled the street with a barely legible, but at least grammatically correct, “I need a miracle” message scrawled on a scrap of cardboard with a Sharpie.

Alicia and Jerry joined us ten minutes later and we made our way to the upper floor where we had booked tables, allowing a prime position leaning on the railing that overlooked the stage below. We could not have had a better view as we christened our new tie-dye outfits. The ticket price had included a meal from a limited menu. With Californian and English choices on offer, we all opted for the latter – fish and chips (the American version of several small fish pieces rather than the single, larger British version).

This was the second time we had seen Dark Star Orchestra, the first having been at the House of Blues in Las Vegas on the eve of my sixtieth birthday two years earlier, when they had played a show from the early nineties which my wife had struggled to embrace, leading her to abandon the show midway through the second set halfway through a characteristically lengthy Eyes of the World jam in favour of the penny slot machines on the Mandalay Bay casino floor. 

She had still not, at this stage, been fully converted to the Dead’s music, despite the fact that I had tried for thirty years to convince her of their greatness. She did, however, enjoy many of the earlier, shorter songs like Sugar Magnolia, Uncle John’s Band, Box of Rain and her favourite, Bertha.

I had been hoping that, being in San Francisco, they might play a Fillmore (West) concert on this evening, perhaps even from the run featured on the Live Dead album from 1969. And that, with some minor adaptations, is exactly what we got. I was beside myself, and my wife was happy too.

Mid way through the first set they announced that they were being joined by a special guest – Grateful Dead rhythm guitarist Bob Weir! He jammed with the band on St. Stephen and sang one of his signature cowboy songs, Me and My Uncle. The following year Bob similarly “gate crashed” Steve Earle’s set at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in 2016. And more than a decade later, during which he had headlined Dead and Company, Wolf Brothers and countless other musical projects, and at the age of seventy eight, he shows little sign of putting himself out to pasture.

Sam Cutler, former manager of both the Dead and the Rolling Stones, spoke to the audience between sets when, naturally, I bought a t-shirt from the merchandise table, an item of clothing I reprised to lead guitarist Jeff Matson’s delight at the band’s concert at Shepherd’s Bush Empire in London in September 2022.

The concert continued past midnight. It had been a special evening, we had bonded with Alicia and Jerry, forging a friendship that continued to flourish and which led to us staying at their home with them in Petaluma on a number of occasions, attending concerts, Giants and 49ers games and meals together as well as them (separately) visiting the UK and all of us, including their two children, Aiden (Alicia’s by a previous marriage) and Ely (their own son) meeting up subsequently in Chicago.

As the Covid-19 pandemic caused a hiatus in our physical connection, we met up on Zoom on a weekly basis as they prepared to go for a morning cycle and we cooked our Sunday dinner! We even danced to favourite Dead songs when the conversation, as it did rarely, lagged.

The story of our relationship has subsequently taken several dramatic and unexpected turns, which I will address on another occasion.

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Sun smiles on puddles

Bacon sizzles on the grill

Voices soar from Kings.

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Picture the scene – one of the checkouts at Morrisons supermarket on Cheriton Road in the late summer of 2018.

I have placed my shopping on the conveyor belt along with my walking tour embossed satchel.

As the middle aged woman on the till begins to ring through my fresh tagliatelle, packet of arrabbiata sauce and bottle of Montepulciano d’Abruzzo – enough to begin with to raise her eyebrows at – she spies my bright red bag.

The conversation goes like this.

Woman (sniffily)

Folkestone Walking Tours – hmmm. What’s that mean?

Me (enthusiastically)

I deliver walking tours of Folkestone.

Woman (inquisitively)

Oh. You’re from Folkestone then, are you?

Me (informatively)

No, I moved here two years ago.

Woman (aggressively)

I’ve lived here all my life. What makes you think you know all about it then?

Me (pleasantly if defensively)

I certainly don’t. But I love Folkestone, having spent my holidays here as a child. And I want to share that with visitors and others,

I’ve also done a lot of research and talked to many people who are lifelong residents.

Woman (distrustfully)

Well, it doesn’t sound right to me.

Me (helpfully)

Perhaps you could come on one of my tours and see for yourself? You’d be very welcome.

Woman (irritatingly)

That’s not my sort of thing. Besides, I can’t walk very far.

I bag my Italian feast for two, pay and make my excuses.

I should finish by making it clear that I had nothing to do with the fire that raged through the building a couple of months later.

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1.

The seven year old boy

In crew cut and tiny shorts

Sits cross-legged on

The chilly wooden floor of

The school assembly hall,

Singing, or rather miming

Along to his favourite carol.

Little Jesus, sweetly sleep,

Do not stir,

We will lend a coat of fur,

We will rock you,

Rock you, rock you

We will rock you,

Rock you, rock you

See the fur to keep you warm.

Snugly round your tiny form.

2.

As the clock strikes two

On a cold Christmas morning,

A short, portly figure,

Fuelled by Watney’s Red Barrel,

Creeps up creaking stairs,

And through half-closed bedroom door

Of the half-sleeping boy

To leave a bulging white paper sack,

Complimenting himself on fooling his son

That he is a certain someone else.

But the child has known better

These past two years,

And through half-open eyes

Perpetuates the falsehood.

3.

In the snow-sprinkled back yard,

The thrill of Meccano set,

Beano and Dandy Annuals

And Cadbury’s selection box

Still fresh in his giddy mind,

The boy is struck between the eyes

By a neatly rolled and deadly fastball

Flung by the same fake Santa

That visited him seven hours before.

But there is neither time for crying

Nor testing the capacity

Of the new chemistry set

To blow up the house

As the main event approaches.

4.

Three tables of differing design,

Height, width and degree of wonkiness

Are wedged together with an

Equally eccentric assortment of chairs

Looted from every room in the house,

Fifteen pews laid for a congregation

Spanning three generations.

The grandfather, prior to the

Ceremonial carving of the turkey,

Leads the toast to his wife

And four daughters-in-law

For the preparation of the feast.

Secretly, he prays there will be

Enough of the bird left over

To lie with his beloved piccalilli

In sandwiches he will take for lunch

At Chatham Dockyard

The day after Boxing Day.

5.

As the tables are cleared away,

The children squabble over

The sixpences and threepenny bits

Found in their Christmas pudding,

While the cooks sit down to squint

At Billy Smart’s Circus

On the seventeen inch

Black and white television,

Precariously perched beneath

The curtained budgerigar cage,

And husbands are grudgingly

Despatched to the kitchen

For washing up duties.

6.

The family singalong takes centre stage

When a favourite uncle, worse for wear

From a cocktail of cheap fizz,

Gassy beer and Bols advocaat,

Leads the traditional rendition

Of the “music master”

Who “comes from down your way”.

The children wrestle weariness

As they pi-a-pi-a-pi-a-no

And umpa-umpa-umpa-pa

To their heart’s content,

Their giggling intensified

By the bandleader flicking

A loose premolar with his tongue

In time to the music.

7.

Wives ascend the stairs to sleep,

But only after mock protests

At having to prepare Irish coffees

For their sozzled spouses,

A ritual as venerable as

The monarch’s festive message

Or overdone brussel sprouts.

8.

As the boy finally succumbs

To slumberous thoughts,

He dreams of the highlight to come –

The Boxing Day football match.

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A tangle of wooden stairs

Criss cross the patios

On a humid late afternoon.

Bottlebrush and butterflies

Flutter in the stifling breeze.

Plump ripe limes droop

In cracked terracotta pots

And tireless bees cavort

Among the jasmine shrubs.

The breasts of the maiden

Temporarily lose their nipples

Till Sutro Tower pokes through the fog.

The screech of cop cars on Mission

Cannot compete with

The joyful laughter of

Mexican and Chinese children

Let loose from Saint James school

On Fair Oaks Street.

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St Charles Place or posh Pall Mall,
Vermont Avenue or Euston Road?
Pancakes and waffles or Eggs Royale?
Depends I guess on your own post code.

Kentucky Avenue or The Strand,
Park Place apartments or Park Lane?
Theatre on Broadway or West End?
Luxury living or fancy hotel chain?

Reading Road or Kings Cross Station,
Ventnor Avenue or Coventry Street?
Which is the pride of their home nation?
I’d wager they both smell just as sweet.

Atlantic Avenue or Leicester Square,
Marvin Gardens or Piccadilly?
Would you wish to shop here or there?
Or am I being just plain silly?

The game’s the same either side of the pond
Full of guile and cunning, and just plain greed,
Which is why I am hopeless and cannot respond,
I much prefer Scrabble I have to concede.

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